My childhood home was a kind of small zoo crowded with domesticated pets and animals. From cats and dogs, fish, hamsters, bunny rabbits, a salamander, and even a three-legged turtle, there was always some new creature joining the family. One such addition was an oversized, rather cantankerous long-haired black cat. The favorite of our mother, this feline specimen possessed a stubborn nature that easily dominated the other neighborhood cats. Among his many eccentricities, he seemed to have a terribly hard time turning down food. I recall how, as part of after-dinner entertainment, my dad would sometimes offer him nibbles of meat from the table to see just how much this stunted predator would consume. “Kiki,” as was the cat’s name, would return repeatedly to offers of scraps, walk away, only to return to scarf down another portion. At some point, he would finally reach his max and would lamentably glare over his shoulder to yet another offer of juicy meat. Eventually, he would waddle away having finally succumbed. Yet, not more than thirty minutes later, as soon as the can opener sounded for his evening meal, Kiki would come barreling into the kitchen to receive his dinner. We’d all share a laugh and anticipate another future round of let’s feed the kitty.
We live in a time when the list of addictive behaviors and distractions available to us is profoundly vast. It seems anything, just about anything, can be and is exploited for addictive self-indulgence. In a desperate attempt to escape the realities of our fallen state and apparently the responsibilities we have to holiness, we will grasp anything that promises to feed our flesh. We overeat, overstimulate, binge-watch, compulsively swipe the screen, and death scroll our brains to oblivion. No matter how stuffed or depressed or disgusted we feel with ourselves, we always return to our flesh pots (Exodus 16:3).
You were wearied with the length of your way, but you did not say, “It is hopeless”; you found new life for your strength, and so you were not faint.
Isaiah 57:10 (ESV)
Most of us are keenly aware of such common addictions as those to drugs and alcohol. In addition, there’s the plague of pornography and the all too prevalent temptation of junk food. We have the challenge of excessive entertainment, endless gaming, obsession with sports and fitness, and, as mentioned, the aptly named death-scrolling addiction. All of us are addicted to something. Whether it’s our pride, slothfulness, self-righteousness, pursuit of money, or even the constant hunt for comfort and easy living. We grow tired and glassy-eyed with so much feasting on self, yet refuse to fall on our faces and admit we are utterly hopeless. Like my childhood cat, we return time and again to our prevelent compulsion, though our stomachs ache with the consequences and souls rot with sin. We repeat the same things over and over again, often expecting a different result, and so our lives become the definition of insanity (Proverbs 26:11).
Once more, the scriptures warn, “…you found new life for your strength, and so you were not faint.” In an attempt to escape the inevitable, we constantly search for some new addiction to ease our consciences. We grow exhausted from too much fun, food, and fantasy, but refuse to go to the Great Physician for the cure. Feeling a little depressed or down? Turn on Christian radio and cheer yourself up with some modern empty praise and worship. Is the Holy Spirit trying to convict you of a persistent sin? Attend a local Sunday morning church service and let the pastor impart a blessing filled sermon to make you feel better about yourself. Come across a passage of scripture that’s a bit too intense? Flip to another, perhaps more upbeat and encouraging. Anything but fall our face in holy despair.
So what’s the answer here? How do we change that which is dragging us so procariously headlong into hell? Simply put, we must be fully convinced by the Holy Spirit that we are indeed hopeless! We cannot continue to claim the peace and hope and joy and love of Christ while persisting in our sin. Jesus did not suffer and die so that you could keep claiming the promise of salvation but refuse the cross of conviction. Until you are thoroughly flattened on your face and feel the full weight of hopelessness, you can never know the joy of His salvation.
Of course, most of us who are churched agree that things are indeed hopeless without God. That’s not too difficult to admit and allows us to wear a basic cloak of humility. But the hopelessness of which scripture speaks is that which causes your heart to actually faint. A realization so profound, so penetrating that you can almost smell the sulfur on your soul. This may sound a bit dramatic, but it’s the kind of conviction that only the Holy Spirit can impart. It quiets a man to his very core, shuts his mouth, and turns off every possible excuse. This holy hopelessness drives one to refuse any comfort or reprieve if it does not emanate directly from the living God. Every defense, all justifications, and the colossal heap of lies we’ve accumulated fall to the ground in Divine desperation.
Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Be wretched and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you.
James 4:8-10 (ESV)
Do you want to grow in your faith? Then shut up. Do you desire to walk closer with Jesus? Purify yourself before God without any whitewash. You want victory over your addictive sins? Let your heart break under the full weight of His conviction and humble yourself back to the dust from which you crawled out (Matthew 11:29 / Lamentations 3:29). Turn off the worship music, refuse the worthless babbling of comfy bible studies, and make your heart ready for His cross. Confess your sins and don’t forget to be specific. Stop blaming others for your folly. Resist the urge to repurpose verses of the Bible to make yourself feel better. Deny the desire to rewrite, reshape, and convince others and yourself of your “innocence.” Above all, do not pick yourself up from the ground until Christ Himself lifts you up.
Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you,..
1 Peter 5:6 (ESV)
When is this proper time Peter speaks of? Nobody but God knows this answer. Our part is to break under His discipline, respond to His rebuke, and humble ourselves under His loving care (James 4:6 / Proverbs 1:23). Those who discover the grace of hopelessness are those who have found the pearl of great price. Hopelessness becomes one of the most cherished blessings in disguise. Because without it, we cannot draw closer to Christ. It is the firm path that leads not only to salvation but also profoundly grants us intimate communion with our Heavenly Father. He drives the nails in hard and pins us down until we cry out with Christ, “Why have You forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:46) This is the blessing of hopelessness. The gift given to those who wait on the cross. Once you have experienced the hopelessness the Holy Spirit alone grants, you won’t settle for anything less. No false humility will do. No amount of ungodly sorrow can comfort your soul (2 Corinthians 7:11). Hopelessness becomes a hunger that can only be satisfied by the daily mana of profound forgiveness (Matthew 5:6). Just as we all require daily nourishment from the food we eat and know the sting of hunger, so too divine hopelessness can only be filled with genuine hope directly from God. Not a cliché proclamation of hope but a profound sustenance given to those who humble themselves under His mighty hand. This is a hope that enters the prayer closet devastated but arises with faith in Christ alone (Psalm 62:5).